A Review: Clockwork Angel (Infernal Devices, Book 1)

I recently finished reading the Steampunk Fantasy novel, Clockwork Angel, by Cassandra Clare. I had stumbled across the Steampunk genre durning my wanderings through the publishing world and, I won’t lie, it intrigued me. The pictures I saw -the way people dressed, the imagery of cogs, wheels, and all things steam-powered, was enough to catch my fancy and entice me to look further into the unknown realm that was generically called, Steampunk.

I looked up some general information about the genre and read a few reviews and articles, but ultimately I ended up on a booklist (a top ten or maybe it was twenty, I can’t recall now) of must read Steampunk novels. I browsed the list, but it was Cassandra Clare’s Clockwork Angel that caught my eye. A Steampunk novel that also included vampires? It seemed like a good choice for me. I figured, even if the Steampunk part proved to be less than interesting, at least I’d have vampires left over to save it. Little did I know that I was about to step into a world that not only had vampires, but a slew of other mouthwatering characters that I would quickly become attached to.

Clockwork Angel tells the story of Tessa Gray, a young, book-loving teenage girl who is looking for her brother, Nathaniel, who has been -more or less- kidnapped. Unwittingly, she finds herself being at the center of a much larger issue than simply finding and rescuing her brother. Deception quickly leads her into a world she never knew existed. Vampires, Shadowhunters, Warlocks, mechanical creatures -all of these make up a hidden world that runs on its own systems, laws, leaders, citizens, and armies.

Thankfully, Tessa is befriended by the good guys, and as she continues to search for her long lost brother, her new companions agree to help. Among this group comes a colorful cast of characters.

Jessamine -the pretty and prissy wannabe princess, whose high opinion of herself only matches her low opinion of everyone else -but buried underneath, her loyalty and fighting ability exists with a vengeance when it’s called upon.

Charlotte and Henry -the more parental Shadowhunters of the lot who run the Institute. Their kind natures and authority bring both a calming and home-like feel to the Institute where the Shadowhunters live and where Tessa is staying. They are both seasoned warriors, and Henry’s inventions, though not always reliable, add something magnificent to the situation.

Will and Jem -two teenage Shadowhunters who, for me, become the spotlight of the story. Will, with his dark hair and blue eyes and defiant attitude becomes the handsome boy we all love, but we hate his actions. Sometimes I wanted to yell and scream at him and I couldn’t understand why he did or didn’t so certain things, but at the end of the day, just like Tessa herself, I loved him anyway. Reckless and amazing (and oddly fond of poetry) he’s a valiant hero by anyone’s standard. And Jem. Of all the characters in Clockwork Angel, he is my absolute favorite. He is the other half of Will. He’s the calmer, wiser, more soft-spoken piece. He is the balance keeper that holds Will together and keeps him from destroying everything. He is a hero in his own right -and proves to be an incredible friend to not just Will, but to Tessa and everyone else he holds dear.

*raises a rawkfist for Jem* 

There are others I could mention, but I don’t want to tell you about everyone. The above are the main list of good guys, and it’s their job to keep everything running smooth and safe. Things are already starting to tremble when Tessa enters their world, and they find her to be a key element in the battle they are already in. As you read, you find yourself tangled into a mystery, a magnificently wound dilemma that puts everyone’s wellbeing in danger and the race comes against the clock to find out what can be done to stop it.

Tessa had never thought of herself as being anything special, but she soon realizes that she’s more than what she appears, and has abilities beyond anything she ever thought was possible. As she sifts through the world of the Shadowhunters, and everything that comes with it, she is drawn to their plight and befriends the odd cast of characters that surround her.

Clockwork Angel is an excellent read, though it’s important to know that it’s book one of three. This first one left me salivating for more -and that’s always a good thing. Clockwork Angel was fun, imaginative, exciting, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Something else that I have to mention, was that throughout the book the author threw in little bits and pieces of Bible references. This, to me, was a definite plus -a surprise that I never expected, but adored immensely. Her use of Latin and poetry throughout it was also something I really appreciated.

For my first journey into the world of Steampunk, I am very glad that I picked this book. It had everything in it that I love -even a dash of romance and a Persian cat. I loved the characters and the world that Clare managed to paint so clearly. I can’t wait to read the next book to find out what happens, and if that’s not the product of stupendous writing, then I don’t know what is.

A Review: The Screwtape Letters

Readers are advised to remember that the devil is a liar. Not everything that Screwtape says should be assumed to be true even from his own angle. 

The above is the warning that is given to readers in the preface of C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters -a classic that was first published in book form in 1942. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow, you’re really late on reading that.” And, yes, I would have to agree with your statement. The Screwtape Letters (as well as all of C.S. Lewis’ works) have been around for a long time. I, like so many people, had previously read Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia -a series of fantasy stories that includes seven books and of course a few of those have already been turned into motion pictures. My husband and I are currently reading the series with our kids, and I wanted to check out some of Lewis‘ other works.

I had seen quotes from The Screwtape Letters and heard people reference it, but I had never read it. I knew that it was about demons and hell, but aside from that I had very little information about it -other than it had some really awesome quotes and it was a highly respected piece of literature among both the Christian and Non-Christian communities.

I admit that when I first sat down to read it, I was completely expecting it to be a lot like The Chronicles of Narnia had been, only darker and instead of kids and talking animals, it would be about demons. In my head, this seemed completely reasonable and I was looking forward to a cute demon story that would also contain a valuable life lesson and some intelligent insight. What I got, however, was something much more impressive.

The Screwtape Letters is a series of 31 letters composed by the demon Screwtape who is writing to his nephew, Wormwood. Wormwood is an under-demon who is just learning the ropes of being a tempter. There is no narrative or dialogue, the entire book is simply Screwtape’s letters of advice and guidance to his nephew.

In these letters, uncle Screwtape is trying to advise Wormwood in the best ways to tempt his patient -the person that Wormwood has been assigned to watch over, tempt, deceive, and most importantly, to keep him from being of any use to the “Enemy”. Now, this is where you have to remember who’s writing these letters. Screwtape is a demon, and a seasoned demon at that, so the “Enemy” is God, and “our Father” is the devil. Both are referenced throughout the book, and it takes a little getting used to, but eventually, you catch on.

As you start to read through the letters, you quickly come to realize that Wormwood is the black sheep of the family. He’s a complete and utter screwup. He can’t seem to do anything right with his patient and no matter how much good advice and direction Screwtape tries to give him, he keeps failing miserably.  I will say that I have to give Screwtape mad props for all his patience with him though. Through all his bumbling, Screwtape continually encourages him, and keeps trying to help no matter how bleak the situation seems to be. He’s a good uncle.

I think the most notable thing about The Screwtape Letters, is also the most frustrating thing about them. Through all of Screwtape’s words of advice and experienced-based knowhow, I kept finding myself agreeing with what he was saying. As he’d write both suggestions of how to tempt his patient and give observations and facts about how things are, I couldn’t help but agree. This is where I would have to stop myself and remember Lewis’ reminder from the beginning of the novel.

The devil is a liar. 

So where does that leave me? I have no idea. Reading The Screwtape Letters was a unique experience in that I found myself being morally divided -should I agree with Screwtape or should I adhere to Lewis’ warning? It was a constant internal conflict through the entire book, and to be honest, I’m still not sure how much of it I agree or disagree with. I will say this, however, even now I find myself quoting Screwtape. Isn’t that probably a bad sign of…something? Indubitably. But, I think in the end, the fact that I was so torn only goes to show the brilliance of the piece and the way Lewis is able to fascinate and lure the reader in, even to get them to agree with a demon.

At the end of The Screwtape Letters, there’s a bit of a continuation entitled, Screwtape Proposes A Toast. According to the preface of this part of the book, Screwtape Proposes A Toast was not a part of the original novel, but was later added after Lewis had been asked for years to continue the demon-penned letters. Lewis’ stand had always been that he could have gone on writing Screwtape’s letters forever, but that he had to stop since he did not enjoy it, and was not comfortable while writing them -that his thoughts had gone to a dark place and everything had started to come out just a little to easy for his liking. Perhaps he was feeling that same torn emotion that I was experiencing while reading them.

The Toast added on at the end is exactly that. It depicts good ol’ Screwtape at a dinner of such, in hell, and he stands up to give a toast/advice to all the under-demons who are present. It has the same confusing -yet alluring- quality of the original letters. I’m very glad that it was added.

All in all, I think C.S. Lewis‘ The Screwtape Letters was an excellent read. I’ve never read anything quite like and I don’t suspect to ever read anything like it ever again. It’s truly a brilliant little piece of awesomeness. It will make you think, second guess, scratch your head, and forget what side you’re on. But in the end, it’s an eye-opening of a read.

 At present the Enemy says ‘Mine’ of everything on the pedantic, legalistic ground that He made it: Our Father hopes in the end to say ‘Mine’ of all things on the more realistic and dynamic ground of conquest, 

Your affectionate uncle

Screwtape 

 

The Importance Of Balance Keepers

Any great novel has unique and memorable characters. You remember their names, what they look like, and relate to how they feel and are concerned for their plight. Awesome characters are why we love the book we’re reading. With that thought in mind, it’s important to remember, as a writer, that your book contains an entire cast of characters, and that among them you have to make sure you include strong and likable balance keepers.

Balance keepers are not your main characters. They’re not the villains or the heroes. Balance keepers are the other ones. They’re the best friends, the wise grandparent, the kind-hearted boss, the watchful neighbor or the concerned co-worker. They are the ones who help your main characters along. Without balance keepers, the main characters would cause utter chaos and ultimately destroy the story and probably blow up their fictional world. Why, you ask? Because they’re the main character -they inherently have issues. They are the ones who just robbed the 7/11 for $56.87 because they were desperate for money to buy food and diapers. They are the ones with the addiction, the ones who ran away from home, the ones who are trying to get to Hollywood to be movie stars. Main characters are the ones on the journey, but it’s the balance keepers who steady them enough so they can get there.

Here’s a quick example of a balance keeper in action.

Ben sat on top the picnic table outside the school cafeteria. The overcast sky and distant rumble of thunder was surely announcing the rain that the weather forecast had predicted. Rain, however, wasn’t on Ben’s mind as he stared across the grassy square. His bottom lip had since dropped open and slobber was already forming as he squinted to get a better look at Dana Branson. She was tall, blonde, and her pouty lips and angelic voice made his stomach flutter every time she’d say things like, “Thank you,” and “Oh, sorry about that,” or “Don’t I know you?” and the handful of other things she’d managed to say to Ben Cranson over the four years they’d been attending the same high school.

“You shouldn’t drool so bad, she’s going to eventually call the cops on you for being a stalker,” Ryan said as he jumped up and sat down next to his friend. His wallet chain that hung halfway down his black jeans clanked against the metal railing of the table. He slapped Ben on his back and wiggled his eyebrows. “You’d never make it in prison.”

“Shut-up, I’m not a stalker,” Ben retorted quickly as he playfully pushed Ryan on his arm before he turned his attention back to Dana. “She’s so beautiful. How can I not watch her?”

“Ben, there’s watching and then there’s being creepy. I’m pretty sure you’ve fallen into the latter,” he said as he ran his hand over his short black hair and glanced up at the sky as lighting flashed across it.

“Oh, please,” Ben scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve known Dana for years and she doesn’t mind my watching.”

“You mean she hasn’t bothered to call the cops on you yet.”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Ben argued as he tucked his carmel-colored hair behind his ears. The wind was picking up and both boys crossed their arms as they shivered.

“If you like her so much, you should ask her out. The dance is next week, maybe you two could go,” Ryan suggested as he watched Ben lick his lips and run a hand over his face. He squeezed his fingers around his cleft chin as he thought.

“Yea, right,” he mumbled without looking over. “She’d never go out with me.”

“Ever since Jason moved, she’s been single. I don’t see why she’d turn you down, well, unless you go up to her slobbering like a deranged dog,” he sniggered.

“I saw this movie last night where this guy sang this girl a song to ask her out and get her to like him. Maybe I could do something like that,” Ben suggested with an enthusiastic grin. “I can sort of play guitar and kind of sing and-”

“Benny, no,” Ryan said as he clapped him on his shoulder. “Listen to me, I’m your friend. Don’t do that,” he insisted, his blue eyes looking sharp like daggers.

“But it worked in the movie.”

“This isn’t a movie and you’ll only make a fool of yourself.”

“Then how am I supposed to ask her out or get her to like me at all?” Ben asked as he pulled away from Ryan’s lingering hand. His stomached growled as a few of their classmates walked by carrying bags from the nearby fast food restaurant. “I can’t think on an empty stomach.”

“You’re not thinking at all,” Ryan quipped as he scooted off the picnic table. Another flash of lighting hit the sky and now the raindrops were starting to fall. “Just be yourself, man,” he advised as he glanced over to Dana and her friends gathering up their stuff to get inside before the droplets became a downpour. “If she’s going to say yes, it will be because she wants to, not because you’ve weaseled your way into her fancy with a sappy song or a misguided attempt to be cool.”

“Hey, I am cool,” Ben scowled as he left the picnic table so they could get inside as well.

“No, man, you’re not cool,” Ryan was sure to tell him as they walked. “But you’re a good guy. Jason was a jerk to her, and I think after coming out of that relationship, going out with a good guy would be a smart move on her part.”

 

That example probably could have been shorter, but I think it shows the point. Ryan is the balance keeper. If the story would have kept going, Ryan would be the one to encourage Ben along as he eventually asked Dana out. He’d be the one to help him learn to dance before the big date. He’d be there to advise Ben against the bright orange suit and he’d be the one to call the cab and make sure Ben got home safely when Dana stood him up at the dance and he drinks too much spiked punch. He’d also be the one to approach Dana and ask her why she was being so awful to his friend, and he’d be the one to help the two of them get back together. He is the balance keeper.

Let’s imagine, just for a second, if we were to pluck Ryan out of that story. Ben would be on his own. He’d sing that horrible song to Dana while wearing a hideous tangerine suit. She’d turn him down, he’d end up in jail for stalking and bad fashion choices. Dana would be emotionally scarred for the rest of her life and develop an irrational fear of people named Ben. Life would be tragic. There would be no happy ending.

This is why balance keepers are so important. They keep your main characters in check and stop them from making fools of themselves or from making their situations even worse. Without the balance keepers, the main characters would be lost. The story would cease to move forward in any sort of positive direction because it’s the balance keepers who encourage, provoke, stop, advise, help, complete, and guide the main characters to where they need to go. They are the unaccredited counselors and the emotional caretakers. They are not in the spotlight, but they help your book shine by being that ever-present influence over the story.

When you start plotting out your characters, you can draw experience for your balance keepers from your own life. Who do you run to when you need help? What sort of things do your trusted friends or co-workers tell you when you’re having trouble? Do the balance keepers in your life always tell you what you want to hear, or do they tell you the hard truth? What are some instances when the balance keepers in your life stopped you from doing something horrible? Or when did they encourage you to do something great?

The fictional characters in your book need these same sort of balance keepers. If not, they might just burn the place down, or accidentally buy 546 cans of soup. They might attempt to give themselves a homemade tattoo or dye their hair the same color as the puke-green carpeting in the hall. They’ll marry the wrong guy and get themselves kidnapped. Main characters can’t be trusted. By their very nature they’re a mess, hence the story is about them, so be sure to give them all the help they need.

 

A Trio Of Tips

The amount of writing tips that exist in the known world is endless. Well, maybe not endless, but it can certainly feel that way. When you start searching for tricks and tips to improve your writing skills, the abundance of advice can easily become overwhelming. Trying to sort out what’s good advice and what’s nonsense can be its own chore, headache, and deterrent. I’m sure this makes you eager to hear my tips then, now doesn’t it? Probably not. But just in case you’re still reading this, here are three simple tips that can help you on your journey to good story telling.

1. Don’t state the obvious.

So what does that mean? Here are few examples of the obvious being stated:

-It was a dark night.

-The water was wet.

-The snow was cold.

-The fire was hot.

See how obvious each of these statements are? Of course the night was dark, what else would it be? Now, arguably, if you’re writing fantasy and in your world the night sky is always bright pink, then yes, by all means, mention that on this night it was dark as Jack strolled down the deserted road. But aside from that, we already know that it’s dark out if it’s nighttime. Water is always wet, so don’t tell me that either. Snow is inherently cold and fire is 100% hot all on its own without you mentioning it. I know this seems really obvious, but that’s the point. Sometimes when we’re typing along and letting our words pour out of us, such obvious mistakes get overlooked.

2. Don’t forget that we have five senses. 

-Sight

-Taste

-Touch

-Smell

-Sound

Our senses are always working. We don’t randomly turn off our hearing or our ability to taste. They’re always on, picking up information from everything around us, and it should be that way for your characters too. Was the floor cold to Jack’s bare feet when he walked across it? Was the candy sour when Jack greedily stuffed it in his mouth? Is there a dog barking outside? I think I hear one. Whoever’s dog that is, they need to take it inside. Jack just walked into the room, can he smell the bleach that I accidentally spilled? If he can’t smell it, then I hope he notices my panic over it going all over the new carpet and will be a gentleman and offer to help me clean it up. And move my couch and bookcase while he’s here.

Personally, I tend to leave out taste and smell the most in my writing. When I go back over my work, I make the effort to be extra mindful of those two and how much I’m not using them. You don’t want to send your characters into sensory overdrive -or your audience for that matter- but it’s good to be aware of places in your writing where adding in the smell of the meat roasting, the feel of the tile floor, the sound of a cat dying in the driveway, the taste of too much salt on the potato chips, or the sight of an empty house after Jack’s family was robbed, can really punch up your writing and make it pop.

Mad props to my editor for lending me her insight when it comes to this.

3. Information Dumps -don’t do it! 

 An information dump is when you give the reader a whole bunch of information all at once. This  usually happens when we’re attempting to describe something or giving the backstory to a character. Big, bulky paragraphs of information are NO fun to read. The eyelids start to droop, the mind starts to turn off and -if you’re lucky- the reader will only skim through these blocks of information rather than getting frustrated and simply putting the book down all together.

Here’s an example (a short example so you won’t get too bored) of an information dump.

Jack walked out into his backyard. The sun was out and he was enjoying its warmth as he took in a deep breath of the summer air. He loved summers. Winters were never his cup of tea ever since he was five. Jack’s older brother had passed away that year, and although he couldn’t remember much about him, the loss of his older sibling had granted his family with a grief that never seemed to leave. When Jack was seven his mother fainted at his piano recital when she saw a boy that looked and sounded like her deceased son, Darren.

When Jack turned ten his father freaked out at the video arcade when Darren’s favorite game was out of order and he couldn’t play it. Then there was the massive supply of apples that his parents always kept on hand. Apples were Darren’s favorite treat and so they always had tons of them around. Apple pudding, apple sauce, apple pie, baked apples, boiled apples, apple bread, apple fritters, apple danishes and every other kind of apple dish you can think off. By the time Jack was twelve, he’d grown to hate apples. He loathed them, though he’d never admit this to his mother.

Jack’s mother loved apples and she demanded that everyone in the family loved them too. She wore shirts that had little apples stitched on the front and her jacket had a gold apple on its zipper. She had apple clips for her hair and even her perfume was apple scented.

Should I go on? I can keep rambling about Jack and his apple issues, but I think I’ve said enough to get the point across. Just look at those paragraphs. It’s a lot of information, and worse than that, nothing has happened. By the time you get to the end of the apple talk, Jack is still standing in the backyard. No progress has been made.

So how do we fix this? There are a few ways you can save yourself and your readers from going blind on apples…I mean, from information dumps.

-Go through your bulky paragraphs and see if there’s anything you can take out. Is all this information really necessary? If it’s not moving the story forward, or doesn’t build up your character, you should consider removing it. I know how easy it is to get attached to your own writing. A sentence or paragraph will roll off your tongue and the thought of cutting it seems damnable. But trust me, if it’s not serving a purpose, your readers will never miss it.

-Divide out your bulky paragraphs. A lot of times it’s not a matter of getting rid of information, but a matter of spreading it around. Take those big blobs of information and share the love. Chop it up and put some of it over here and some over there. The audience doesn’t need to know every single detail about a character or someone’s house all at once, let those things be discovered over time.

-Dialogue is your friend. One of the smoothest ways to get information across to your audience is through dialogue. Your character was in a car accident when they were little and that’s causing issues now? Instead of your narrative going through the details, let your character tell the details, while having coffee and her new boyfriend, Jack, asks about the cute little scar on her chin.

Don’t be the rambling noise that people will tune out, but let your characters tell their stories to each other. This not only allows your audience to find out information, but it allows other characters in your story to find it out as well. Can you feel the bonding going on? The girl with the cute scar just shared a very personal story with Jack and we got to witness it. I’m invested in them both now, and not because the narrator told me that she told Jack the story over coffee, but because I watched her tell her story and I saw Jack’s reaction to it. I watched as her hand trembled when she was recalling how their family van was sideswiped by a pickup truck. I watched her hold back tears when she told him her mom had died two days later at the hospital. I heard Jack’s words of encouragement and sympathy to her and I saw her give him that loving smile for being so sweet. It was a moment the three of us just shared, and that is really worth something.

 

Where do I begin?

One of the hardest things about starting a new writing project is just that. Where should I start? When it comes to fiction writing, there are two things that I’ve learned concerning beginnings. This isn’t rocket science, but sometimes it’s the simplest elements that can get looked over in our zeal to get started on something fresh and new. With so many bustling ideas rattling around in our heads, and us (as in me..not sure about you) being so eager to get them out and onto the paper (er..the computer) it can be easy to lose sight of all common sense and immediately start diving into our cast of fictional characters that have been mentally torturing us up until this moment when we finally sit down and give them life.

So how should this new life begin? Here’s a couple of tips.

#1 Start on the day that’s different. Someone said that to me once. I can’t, for the life of me, remember who it was, but I’ve found that it’s solid advice just the same. When starting that oh-so-important beginning, make sure you’re starting when things are about to change. Don’t make your readers wait three chapters before something happens that is different from the 360 days before it. Right out of the gate, get your audience into the thick of what the issues will be.

Let’s say your main character is a compulsive gambler. All right, that’s a problem. But he’s been a compulsive gambler for the last 15 years. Do we really want to hear about that? Nope. But today Scary Max and Intimidating Jake are coming to hunt him down because he bet on Silly Sue, the horse with great odds that lost when she suddenly realized that racing just wasn’t her ideal career goal. You see, now it’s interesting. If we spent three chapters reading about our sorry main character and all the drama he’s caused for his wife and his dog -who are both giving him the evil eye at dinner on a regular basis- and how his life is falling apart, by the time we got to Scary Max and Intimidating Jake, our anxiety level would be through the roof! That’s assuming we actually bothered to keep reading after the first chapter of depressing gambling debts that led to a second and third chapter of more of the same.

Get to the point! That is the point. I want to see our guy on his knees with his hands tied behind his back, begging for his life as he looks up into Scary Max’s face and Intimidating Jake is shoving a knife to his throat while they hiss ultimatums at him. This should be chapter one. Or possibly chapter two, if you do it right.

Ok, so now we’re on the right track. We’ve decided to start on the day that’s different. So now what? Here’s another good tip.

#2 Make your opening scene POUNCE! When I say opening scene, I mean just that. The first few lines of your story should catch my interest. If they don’t, I might just put your book down and never pick it back up. The human mind is quick to know what it likes or what it doesn’t like and so you have just a few seconds (depending on how fast the person reads) to grab their attention and entice them to keep reading.

Not long ago I bought a romance novel. Go ahead, laugh now and get it out of your system. I have actually never read a real romance novel before and so I figured I’d give it a try. I’m a romantic at heart and all of my stories tend to have romantic themes in them so I figured, how could this go wrong? After browsing through the category section at the bookstore, I finally picked one out and brought it home. You’ll think I’m a dork, but I was actually really excited to open it up and get started on it and so that’s what I did. I got a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch to be immersed into this new and exciting world. Or so I thought.

The book opened with the main character sitting alone in her kitchen. She might of watered her spice garden..I can’t remember, but either way it doesn’t matter. It was all narrative and dry narrative at that. Within the first few pages I learned about her random thoughts and what her apartment looked like. I saw her get ready for some business meeting and what the weather was like as she went to this meeting and that’s about where I stopped. I was five pages in and ready to bang my head against the wall it was so boring. Maybe the business meeting was going to be the thing that made that day different (reference tip #1) but I never got far enough to find out because the opening was so bad, I didn’t care! I had no emotional connection to her or her life and I had no concern over this meeting or what would happen. I even tried to skim through some of the pages to see if it would pick up, but even that proved to be tedious and thus, I never found out what happened at this meeting. I haven’t lost any sleep over not knowing.

So how do you avoid boring your readers into tossing your book to the side without any care over your character’s all important business meeting that will change her life? You start off with an opening scene that POUNCES!

A friend of mine is currently working on a new novel. She sent me the first chapter and asked me to look it over and give her some feedback. I already knew what would be happening in the story since she and I had talked about the plot beforehand and its characters, but first scene rules still applied. In her opening scene the main character was sitting and looking out a window and having a bit of an introspective moment. It was all narrative and although it was informative and revealed some nice things about the main character, it didn’t grab me. I felt no emotional connection or commitment to the character after reading the opening paragraph and so I advised her to change it -in accordance with rule #2.

She took my advice and sent me the revision and wow! I was absolutely elated to read what she had come up with. The new opening scene was between the main character and his dog (who was briefly mentioned in the original as a passing thought and observance by the main character as the dog slept peacefully) and I have to say it was a vast improvement. Immediately I was sucked into this playful tug-of-war game between the young man and his canine companion, complete with witty banter and cocky remarks when he had managed to win the toy from the dog. It was a great opening scene and it pulled me right into wanting to know more about the main character. I got to see him talk and interact and be playful before the seriousness of the story started. It was a far cry from the sleepy narrative that had been there originally and she did a great job of adding that key information in later that really complimented the story.

All right, so what have we learned? Start off on the day that’s different and make your opening lines count! To put it simply, GRAB PEOPLE’S ATTENTION! Don’t let your readers wander off because you’ve lost their fancy. Keep them panting and begging for more. Get them invested in your characters. Make them care. Send them to bed wondering what will happen after Intimidating Jake turns on Scary Max because he’s secretly always hated him. Leave them worrying over Silly Sue’s new career as a dancing horse for the circus. Don’t let them be mildly interested, they’ll never finish the story to find out that the wife and the dog actually hired Scary Max and Intimidating Jake to bump off the main character for the insurance money. Don’t let this happen to you. You’ve got a great story to tell, so start it off right and hook them right from the beginning.

Learning to Learn (Mountains)

Being a first time novelist, I’ve realized there is a mountain –or more like many mountains- worth of information that I don’t know. In fact, since we’ve decided to go with the mountains (with an s) example, let’s separate this stockpile of unknown information into two mountains just to make it easier.

Mountain #1 (Writing)

When I first started writing, though I had no education in the area, I thought I did pretty well. I’ve always loved writing and reading and my imagination has always had a life of its own, so story telling has always been rather natural to me. Admittedly, I’m weird and my stories come out that way too, with characters that reflect a lot of me and people I know into oddities where things end up on the cute and fuzzy side of life. It’s what I like. I love drama and romance with cuteness and happy endings and that’s how everything I write comes out.

Not a problem, right? Right. That’s not the problem. The problem (aka Mountain #1) is that because I’ve never had any formal training/schooling in the way of professional writing or communication, I’m left with a bit of a void. Come to find out there are some serious do’s and don’ts when it comes to novel writing, all of which (or I should say most) I wasn’t aware of. I wrote for fun, for my own amusement mostly, and I still do. If I didn’t enjoy writing I just wouldn’t do it, but as it is, I do. However, now that I’m making my way through the real world of authorship I’ve come to realize there are some tips and rules that are helpful.

For instance, the concept of show not tell is one that I relentlessly went through my manuscript with, attempting my best to evenly place my showing and telling and most importantly to follow the APPLE rule. It’s been grueling at times, not only going over my own work countless times, but also reading through blogs and tutorials in an attempt to make up for my lack of corporate education. However, at the end of it all I feel that I have really grown as a writer and things like patience and perseverance have become my mindset. All in all, this big scary mountain is still scary and I know I still have more to learn, but at this point I say, bring it on!

Mountain #2 (the query process)

This mountain is made of things of horror movies and nightmares. It is the brute squad of all anxiety. You must understand that the query letter is not just a mountain, but it’s a mountain covered in jagged rocks and various demons waiting to slay you. Don’t believe me?  Let’s look at a few.

1. The demon of doubt (this guy’s a stalker, he’ll slip in and bring you down and taunt you to no end).
2. The demon of wordiness (this one gets me, I tend to ramble, I’ll just go on and on and on, it’s sad, really, because what starts out to be a clear and concise sentence or paragraph ends up being this long-winded stream of utter nonsense…ie this sentence you’re reading).
3. The demon of rejection (this one lurks in your email, waiting to pounce, but we all face it).

So there you go, a few examples of query letter demons, though there are many more but, you know, I don’t want to scare you.

Not worried about demons? That’s ok, they aren’t the really terrifying part of the query letter anyway, they’re just an added obstacle. No, my friends, the really brutal part of writing a query letter is in its very nature. You see, you have to take your 100k word plus manuscript and whittle it down to two paragraphs worth of description.  Not only do you have to tell your story in such a confined amount of space but you have to “sell” it in that real estate as well. You have to make those two paragraphs (a query letter is actually three main paragraphs, but the last one is your author bio/credentials, so it doesn’t count) interesting enough for the agent/editor to want to read more. Now, for some this isn’t a daunting task, but for people like me it’s a nightmare (hence mountain #2) and one that I have really struggled with.

Don’t forget I’m a first time novelist and I’m in the query process now. I am sending my completed letter around to agents in hopes that it catches someone’s attention and if it ever does I’ll be sure to blog about that and go into more detail about query letters because it’s a massive sea that can drown you quickly.

Final thoughts on my mountains?

Firstly, I know they aren’t the last ones. I’ve come this far and I know there are more mountains ahead (things like contracts and publishing and promotions) and with those, much like these, I know I will have much to learn. Secondly, I’m extremely thankful that I’ve come this far and I’ve realized that I really do love writing and even if my work never gets published, it’s still one of my favorite things to do.

September: Alzheimer's Association Month

Reblogged from Lost in the Echo:

I came across this campaign earlier this morning and I'm totally on fire for it. I work in elderly healthcare for almost four years now and I've seen a lot of cases of Alzheimer's or Dementia, or other similar diseases. It's downright heartbreaking and simply... yeah, I can't find the words to describe the feeling I when I see those people and how they forget who they are.

Read more… 226 more words, 3 more videos